I began the year with the intention of having at least three days per week without alcohol, as described in my Demi-Sec January post. This was in part driven by the slow realisation that I have somehow become older over the years (and thus more vulnerable to the potential harms of drinking) and also in recognition of the fact I did not want to do Dry January this year.
Today marks the end of six months and I am pleased to report that I have stuck to the rules. It has been tricky at times, there were occasions when I could have “justified” breaking them, but with some jiggling round of various social engagements and anticipating days when I knew I would want to drink, it has all come good.
I spent many hours with clients throughout my career discussing their drinking behaviour and helping them to understand the risks of relapsing after implementing positive changes. I even ran groups on the topic. The struggles they faced were mightier than mine, so I do not want to sound smug about my achievements. But the underlying mechanisms and strategies share a commonality. I mentioned “justifying” having a drink. In clinical parlance, we call these “permission-giving thoughts”…
Who wouldn’t want a drink after the day I’ve had?
I really deserve a drink
Just one wouldn’t do any harm
Thus begins the slippery slope. There are strategies people can use to counter these thoughts. It is often helpful to encourage people to think about how they will feel about their choices the next day. We could all benefit from improving our consequential thinking skills.
I also mentioned that in order to stick to my rules I had to engage in some forward planning. This is an important skill to develop if people want to avoid relapsing. They can be helped to recognise high risk situations and how to avoid them or mitigate the risks. These situations are idiosyncratic – they could be about being with specific people, or in specific situations, or related to emotional states such as depression, loneliness, anger or anxiety.
I noted last time that I sadly keep a record of my drinking. I can report that I have achieved to date 81 days of abstinence this year. Having the three days of abstinence has made up for not doing Dry January – last year at this point I had achieved 80 days of abstinence (31 of those in January, of course).
The key question now is will I continue this for the rest of the year? I think I feel marginally physically and emotionally better by not drinking so often. It is a bit of a challenge at times. If I were to just see how it goes, without making a commitment, then I will end up drinking more often. Making a commitment is fundamental to implementing any behavioural change (be it eating more healthily or taking more exercise) – it is the bedrock of motivation. And letting others know about your commitment gives it a bit more cement.
So?
I will stick to my goal of three days of abstinence per week. I will perhaps, dangerously, give myself a bit more flexibility – if I am in violation one week, I will make up for it the following week. Sound fair? I will provide updates.
No, on second thoughts, that won’t work. A slippery slope. The rules stay as they are. No free passes.
Understand Yourself Better 