Our daily lives tend to have a pattern and rhythm that is personal to us. There are activities and commitments that shape our days and weeks, mixing the boring and mundane with periods of joy and pleasure. There are any number of events that can disrupt the normal flow of our lives. These range from personal loss and tragedy to the impact of national and world events. I initially wrote this page in response to the Covid pandemic and lock-down, but the principles remain the same five years on.
Trauma shatters the illusion that we live in a safe and predictable world. This knowledge can unleash feelings of fear and helplessness. We may find ourselves examining our lives and re-assessing our priorities.
The digital age has opened lots of new opportunities and many people still benefit from being able to work from home. Lock-down led to a heavy personal loss for many people. We are essentially social beings and we need the proximity to others to feel a sense of belonging. Empathy is diluted when it is digitally transmitted – we need to be in the same physical space to be in the same emotional space.
Guidelines for Keeping Well
Routines – Some Things Stay the Same
Try to build up a picture of what was important before your trauma or crisis. The elements of well-being remain the same, it is just that they may need to be met in different ways. Therein lies the challenge. The patterns and rhythms have changed, so we need to make them work for us. The days are no longer or shorter than before. Our daily activities should be a good mix of the mundane and the pleasurable. It is good to set a couple of goals for each day, however small they might be. Think about the things you used to do to start the day. We need to have a good reason to get up. No one is saying you need to set out to win a Nobel prize. Doing one small thing to start the day is a win. Attending to your personal appearance can help to lift your mood, and at a deeper level you are sending yourself a message that you are important.
Working from Home
If you are working from home it is important to have boundaries around your time and physical space to ensure there is a strong distinction between work and play. It is helpful to “get into role” – for example, wearing your work clothes (this does not need to include high-vis jackets or hard hats, unless you particularly want to!) and attending to personal grooming, such as putting on your usual make-up. By doing this, you are establishing a routine, emphasising you are in work mode, and you can change your clothes later to step out of role, thus making those boundaries sharper.
If you are doing a lot of screen-based work, then taking regular breaks is important – to change your posture, to move around, to focus your eyes on something distant. And likewise for your mind.
Think carefully about your eating habits – see section below on Eating Well. Working from home might provide more opportunities and temptations to snack between meals. Keep the biscuit tin away from the keyboard. And the gin!
Fresh Air and Exercise
These elements are so important for our well-being. Taking exercise outside – even a short walk – contributes to our physical and mental health. Whether you are in a city or a village, try to notice the nature around you – trees, grass, the sky, flowers, the sound of birds. Fresh air and exercise will also contribute to better sleep…
Sleeping Well
Here we are talking about sleep hygiene – having a “wind-down” routine that avoids action movies, high caffeine intake and over-doing social media and other on-screen activities too close to bedtime. Slow down and relax. Remember, if you try too hard to sleep it can make sleep more elusive. Focus on closing your eyes, relaxing your body, and directing your mind towards your breathing.
Eating Well
There is lots of evidence to show that our diets can have an impact on both our physical and mental health. I am not going to describe the elements of what a balanced diet should look like. We know this, it is just a question of why we sometimes choose not to stick to it. It is understandable that our eating can be disrupted in response to trauma and other stresses.
Our appetites might diminish so we are not eating enough, or they increase so we are eating too much. The types of food we prefer might have changed – we find ourselves reaching for the chocolate fudge cake rather than the fresh fruit. Consider if your pattern of eating has changed (e.g., snacking more than usual, missing meals, not feeling motivated to prepare a meal) and if what you are eating (food types and amounts) has changed.
The aim is to re-engage with what worked for you previously. This is unlikely to happen overnight. Focus on changing one small element at a time. When you achieve this, move onto the next element you want to change. It may help to keep a record of your progress in a notebook or on your phone. I am sure there are many apps out there that could help you with this. Above all, be gentle with yourself – having slip-ups is the norm.
Drinking Well
Keeping hydrated is obviously important. However, here I had in mind the consumption of alcohol. This can easily become a bit excessive in times of crisis and trauma. It is about opportunity and availability. The loss of daily structure plays a role, as does trying to cope with anxiety, loneliness and isolation. The normal constraints on our drinking may no longer apply – if we are working from home. for example, then we don’t have to drive, or meet work colleagues in real life.
The way forward – be mindful of your use of alcohol and develop simple rules – drawing boundaries around drinking days, times and amounts. If you need to make changes, be realistic – one step at a time.
Understand Yourself Better 