I am a Well-Being Hypocrite

Oh, that sounds a bit harsh. However, there is certainly an element of truth in this. I was reading the page I wrote on here about keeping well when I realised that I am not that good at following my own advice. Last night I was watching the start of the third series of Squid Game on Netflix while enjoying a glass of wine – red, of course, to go with the theme of the show.

Neither activity was conducive to a good night’s sleep. Alcohol may help you drop off to sleep easily, but it disrupts the quality of sleep, so you tend to be more restless and wake up earlier than is good for your mind and body. The effects of course are dose-dependent.

As for Squid Game, well it is psychologically tense and rather graphic in its depiction of violence. Let’s just say that Episode 2 had a lot of ‘red wine”. The over-stimulation of the TV show battles with the sedating effects of the alcohol as you try to drift off to sleep. This combination of stimulant and sedative is well-known in the field of drug addiction – note, for example, the craze for Purple Hearts in the 1960s and Speedballing (mixing heroin and cocaine) more recently. It seems that sending our brains mixed messages can be very rewarding – BUT mixing heroin and cocaine significantly increases the risk of fatality, so this is not an endorsement!

The reference to mixed messages is a nice segue to looking at some of the reasons we may not always act in our own best interests when it comes to well-being. The first point to consider is our friend cognitive dissonance – how we cope with the mis-match between our beliefs and our behaviour. We all eat the wrong things, drink too much, don’t take enough exercise and so forth, in the knowledge that we are not doing what is best for ourselves. Except, at the time, this is what we are exactly choosing to do, so it must be the best thing to do right now! We employ all sorts of mental tricks to reduce this dissonance/discomfort. We are mostly driven/motivated by the availability of immediate rewards – all that weight-loss, muscle-building, heart health stuff takes too long to bring the undoubted, but delayed, rewards. This is who we are. Just try to be aware of your own thinking processes – those that give you permission to have the chocolate fudge cake, and those that weigh-up the value of those longer-term goals.

A second consideration relates to our self-esteem. We have to believe that we are worthy of well-being, that we have the right to be happy and healthy. So many people I have worked with over the years have really struggled with these issues. Often, the source of negative beliefs about yourself lies in early childhood experiences, which are sometimes triggered by traumatic events later in life. To make good choices for yourself can sometimes mean putting your needs above those of others. Again, many people struggle with this, not wanting to offend or upset others, or being afraid of looking selfish. We are talking here about assertiveness.

To conclude, I am indeed a well-being hypocrite. I feel no shame in this. It puts me with humans, not with the robots. I provide information and suggestions about how one can improve and maintain well-being. There are no moral imperatives. No one has to eat purple broccoli (a tongue-in-cheek look at dietary advice for runners). And defo no purple hearts.

Keep well in the ways that work for you!

The Elephant in the Room

She: I think it is time we talked about the, you know, the elephant
in the room.

He: I wondered when you would get round to mentioning that.

She: It has been on my mind a long time. I was waiting for you to
explain, but it looks like I will be waiting forever

He: Explain? I don’t understand.

She: What do you mean, you don’t understand? I’m talking about the
elephant in the room.

He: I know what you’re talking about, but I thought it was yours.

She: What do you mean you thought it was mine?

He: The elephant. I thought it was your elephant.

She: Mine? Why would I need an elephant?

He: I don’t know. I thought it best not to ask. As an aide-memoire
maybe.

She: It’s not my elephant. I thought it was yours.

He: Mine? Why would I need an elephant?

She: I’ve no idea. I thought it might have been a “man thing”.

He: Let’s get this straight. It’s not your elephant. It’s not my
elephant. What the hell is it doing here?

She: You mean that for months we have organised our lives around a
huge animal that had nothing to do with either of us? Oh, that’s just
brilliant. Day after day having to edge round the sides of the room to
get from one end to the other, watching TV through its legs as we
balanced our meals on trays, ever fearful of it having a “little
accident”. Not to mention the huge increase in our food and water bills.
What are we going to do?

He: Entice it out with a row of buns and never mention it again?

In the End

Like all good stories, Dry January had a beginning and an end. I have catalogued my 31 days of abstinence from alcohol in this series of posts. For someone who set out not to drink, I have devoted more than 23,000 words to the topic and spent over a hundred hours researching and crafting these posts. We have looked at the history of alcohol and drinking, how wine, beer and spirits are made; what strange things are added to our tipples (including some guidance on

Continue reading “In the End”

Day 31 – a bit disconnected

Everything is fine as we come to the last evening of Dry January, except that I have no internet for the next couple of days. A bit of a hiatus between contracts. I will provide an overview, a bit of reflection, and tie up any loose ends when I am reconnected.

Wishing everyone a lovely weekend and congratulations for getting to the end of the month. If you lapsed, then do not despair, that is the norm. Be glad you are not a robot. Until later, keep safe and well.

Day 30 – the philosophy of alcohol

Yesterday I took a poetical look at alcohol. Today I am going philosophical. My starting point was going to be “I drink therefore I am”. This turns out to be a book on wine by the philosopher Roger Scruton – I drink therefore I am: A Philosopher’s Guide to Wine. The original phrase is attributed to W. C. Fields. In Latin it is Bibo Ergo Sum. Pipped at the post again! Never mind…

Continue reading “Day 30 – the philosophy of alcohol”